O Christmas Tree (From The Perspective Of An Angel)

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy needles are a chaffing;
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy branches always scrapping;
When Christmas Time it comes to pass
You stick a tree up this Angel’s ass
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy needles are so chaffing!

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
No pleasure thou can’st give me;
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
All you do is pain me;
How often has the Christmas tree
Gave me cause to hide or flee!
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
No pleasure thou can’st give me;

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy lights can’t hide my misery!
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Be New Years soon I beg of thee!
With a sharp tree top in my butt,
I cry in pain with my eyes shut.
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
Thy lights can’t hide my misery!

O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
I can stand the pain no longer;
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
If I could still fly I’d be a goner
E’ry year a brand new scar,
Why can’t you be topped with a fucking star?
O Christmas Tree! O Christmas Tree!
If I wanted an enima I’d have gone to see a God damned proctologist which I should after having your chaffing, scratching, rough needles shoved so far up my anus I think I can taste fur.