MY EXPLOITS IN BECOMING THE GREAT GODFRED PERIWINKLE MASTODON FERVIS III
I’m Godfred Periwinkle Mastodon Fervis III. It’s quite a name, and with it come many stories. The best stories, unfortunately, aren’t mine, yet.
My namesake, Godfred Periwinkle Mastodon Fervis was best known for his terrible temper, veracious appetite for drink and for once riding his motorcycle through a pub, brandishing a sword like a joust. I, on the other hand, have committed no such felony, but that is all about to change.
My grandfather would be proud. With his Indian perched upon Mr. Nichols’ diving-board, engine revved, I toss away my thick-lensed glasses. I yell triumphantly and release the clutch.
Honourable Mention: Coolest namesake EVER
Alphabet Wine 